I use to pride myself on being patient, gentle, and even kind. Then I had Kids. I did alright with my first 2. Easy Peazy! Then came numbers 3 and 4. And I was slowly transformed into a woman who is easily annoyed, impatient, and snippy. These days I look more like a wild banshee than a gentle and godly woman. And. I. Hate it.
For a long time I resigned myself to the idea that my kids were going to grow up with a messed up mother because no matter how resolved I was to have a sweet disposition and a calm tone of voice I would fail by 7:02 am. At least it felt that way. After years of trying change God has taken pity on me and has shown me that what I really need is not just more effort. I need renewal.
This is not a new truth. But renewal is something I tend to associate with the lost coming to Jesus, being made new by the grace and power of God.
Does this apply to me? A woman who is already saved from God’s wrath? A person rescued from the condemning snare of sin, and born again by the Holy Spirit?
Does God renew a believer after conversion? Absolutely! We need it! I need it because in the presence of sin I often flail about not knowing which way to go, or how to be. Though the penalty of sin has been lifted the presence of sin continually throws me for a loop. It messes with my emotions, my moods, my joy, my priorities, my love for God and others and my wisdom.
Renewal is the work of God in our lives by which he is constantly turning us back to Christ. We often wander, get distracted, follow a wrong path or grow cold. It is during these times that we need God’s divine power to turn us back to him.
Getting over myself
How many times do I have to read John 15:5 which says that without Christ I can do nothing, before I finally get it. When will it sink in that I have no power to change myself? Apparently I still haven’t learned this lesson because over and over again I tie on a cape and try to be my own superhero.
What is my job? It’s to give everything to Christ (2 Cor. 12:9)! I must own my weakness and cling to the strength of God. I am to dwell on the goodness and cross of Jesus. I am to let God’s power work in my weakness. I am to live in the scriptures, the sword of the spirit, which will surgically remove the diseased riddled parts of my heart.
Something amazing happens when we put God above ourselves. We will find comfort, encouragement, power and the change that we so long for.
For it is God who works in you to will and to act in order to fulfill his good purpose. Phil 2:13
The older I get the more aware I am of my sin. Though I am forgiven I am still broken and in need of supernatural healing and cleansing. I am in need of renewal which can only be found in Christ.
"Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me."—Psalm 51:10